5 Ways to Feel More Confident & Trustworthy while Self-Promoting

1 - Realize you Don't have to be the Aggressive Enigma to Grow
Have you ever noticed there is a certain type of person (maybe 1 in 1000) who can comfortably even ‘spam’ friends and family about their business and still seemingly ‘get away with it’ still coming off as ‘likable’ and ‘trustworthy?’  Maybe you know or have observed something like this.  This person is a kind of enigma.  Even if friends and family aren’t interested in what this person is selling, they can kind of just shrug it off and separate the ‘person’ from the ‘promotion.’  As a new business owner, you ask, “What is it about this person that they can do this while I know I’ll never get away with it?”  Realize the ‘certain something’ this type of person has is 100% conviction and zero shame in these methods.  That is rarely the case with most business owners even if they put up the best façade (nor should it be).  I point out this enigma type of person to first dissolve the idea that we must be like that person in order to succeed or be heard.  Do not get this person entangled with the idea of the only way to success or ‘good marketing.’

When it comes to Self-promotion, you will get best results promoting in your own style (especially when you’re new), not attempting to emulate someone solely because they happen to come off as more aggressive.  If they are, the enigma is getting results with his/her ‘aggressive’ tactics in large part because they feel well aligned with them.  To try to simply copy this person when you know deep down you are not this person is a waste of time.  What works for them won’t work as well for you.  It is counterproductive to try to push yourself to do something you currently feel ‘wrong’ about.

2 - Learn to Recognize the Difference between Feeling Pushy / Wrong vs. Feeling Shy
People get a little mixed up here because they hear things like ‘fear is on the other side of your comfort zone.’  Still, if you feel wrong about something, let it go, don’t do it.  Feeling wrong or immoral about something is different than feeling ‘shy’ about something.  It’s such a subtle difference in the gut.  To understand the difference, think about the little boy who wants to give a Valentine’s day card to someone he likes in school.  He doesn’t feel like it’s wrong or immoral, he feels ‘shy’ about it.  If in a situation you have butterflies like that little boy, you are likely feeling shy.  If the word ‘pushy’ comes to mind and you feel like there is a wall of metaphorical concrete or a big red stop sign in front of you, you probably feel something is immoral, wrong, or pushy.  Real growth is on the other side of the butterflies, but not on the other side of that concrete wall or stop sign. 

3 - Talk to Friends & Family Differently than your Target Audience
Remember, your personal Facebook page is filled with friends and family, most of which are not your target audience.  When you’re promoting to this type of audience, to maintain being seen as trustworthy or in a positive light it’s best to keep things indirect.  Tell people what you’re up to, but forego the direct calls to action.  For example, you’ll get a better response to the status “So excited I just finished the new label design for the new soy candle I created” vs. “I created a new soy candle and super cool label today.  Check it out at my website here. Lucky for you, it’s on sale.”  Don’t waste your time on this too much, do more to start defining, finding, helping and getting involved with your target audience.

4 - Know when to do Inbound Marketing vs. Outbound
In short, in-bound marketing means delivering value or 'content' in order to grow your list and / or develop a trustworthy report.  You can then present your products to the audience once you’ve put in the time to develop report.  Outbound marketing has its place to.  Think radio ads and billboards.  These are also fine to promote with if you're a business to consumer business because they are still perceived as trustworthy.  Direct sales (direct calls / personalized emails) are also examples of outbound marketing and while still fine if you're a business selling to other business (B2B), as a small business owner selling to consumers (B2C), you should NEVER do this to your customer.  Reserve these tactics for initiating contact with potential collaborators / other fellow businesses.

5 – Most Importantly, Remember Good 'Self-Promotion' Really isn't about You
It’s important to remember that the promotion you're putting out there isn’t really for you or about you, even if you are the face behind the brand.  It’s ideally for your ideal customer (as win/win).  Ask yourself, what is the ‘why’ of my product or service at the most basic level?  Try to stay heart centered not self-focused when asking this and be sincere.  If you have a real viable product, service and/or special talent... at some point it will hit you that you are depriving those in your target audience by holding back or being too shy.  Keep on the look-out for evidence to validate this.  This can take time.  Once this realization really hits you, it will push you beyond your 'fear,' shame, or shyness. Repeat this exercise over and over again until you’re totally fine putting what you’re doing out there. 

If you found this helpful you may be interested in joining Melissa's SFTS training community for entrepreneurs.  Join here.